Born into The Children of God by Natacha Tormey

Born into The Children of God: My life in a religious sex cult and my struggle for survival on the outside, Natacha Tormey. London: HarperElement/ HarperCollins Publishers, 2014. e-book, 233 pps.


     Several kids in my high school joined up with The Children of God-- as the sex cult was known in its early days. One of them took me to the commune in New York City once. Even back then, the commune residents were dependent upon the charity of others/ donations/ garbage-raiding for food. The commune itself was a converted warehouse, rather grungy-looking. It was a place I knew I didn't want to wind up living in.

     The girl who took me to the commune got kicked out of our high school. She was intellectually brilliant but had decided to rely on "the Lord" to give her the answers to tests. Homework remained undone in favor of memorization of Bible verses, reading Moe Letters, and preaching to whatever bugs were flying around her head at any given time. I figured that this stuff wasn't really working for her all that well so I continued to do my homework [most of it anyways-- I refused to do proofs in geometry because I figured that if I could just look at the drawings and deduce the answer, doing other stuff was redundant and didn't make sense] and to study for tests.

     The girl told me about Flirty Fishing and Moe David's [David Berg's] excuses for having the C.O.G. women offering sex to businessmen while trying to convert them. It made sense to her. Made no sense to me. Another distinct turn-off.

     A few years ago, people who had escaped from the sex cult that the Children of God had devolved into began to tell their stories on the Internet via forums for ex-members and in published books. And the stuff that was coming out was horrid, sick, depraved. Adults having sex with other adults and children. Beatings of kids. Living in poverty. Begging on the streets or 'selling' COG lit in order to eat. Communes getting kicked out of various countries.

     I picked up Born into The Children of God thinking that I was prepared for whatever Natacha Tormey had written about. Perhaps not so prepared. Her book is a personal memoir of what it was like being born into a sex cult and how difficult life is outside of that cult when that was all she ever knew. Kids were abused in there [and I deeply suspect probably still are under the auspices of The Family International or whatever what is left of COG is calling itself these days]. Natacha Tormey was fortunate. Two of her brothers weren't. 

sapphoq reviews says: Natacha Tormey has written about her experiences in a clear and direct voice. For adults who are interested in coercive religions and cultic studies, personal memoirs and child abuse: highly recommended.

Shattered Dreams by Irene Spencer

Shattered Dreams: My Life as a Polygamist's Wife, Irene Spencer. New York: Hachette Book Group, 2007. e-book, 380 pps.

     Irene Spencer grew up in a fundamentalist Mormon household. Although the official LDS Church has reneged on the practice of polygamy, the FLDS folks have not. One well-known settlement is in Short Creek which straddles the border of Colorado and Arizona. Several not-as-known settlements remain in Mexico, where the authorities are not as intent on prosecution of plural marriages as the United States is at present.

     As a teen, Irene Spencer found true love but she turned her back on him in favor of the Principle [of Celestial Marriage; and thus of plural marriage here on earth]. She became second wife to her half-sister's first husband. [Sisters, half-sisters, and step-sisters may share a husband]. Her husband's household quickly moved to Mexico to what was supposed to be a ranch but proved to be a hovel of rat-infested huts. 

     Irene Spencer was an obedient wife prone to meltdowns and tantrums whenever her husband married again. He wanted at least seven wives. Adding insult to injury, she was called upon several times to court the extra wives and/or give them to her husband in the marriage ceremonies. She had many babies and put aside her own dreams and health in order to please her god.


sapphoq reviews says: Irene Spencer has come out on the other side of a chaotic existence. She is now happily married to a monogamous husband and has converted to born again christian status. She is certain to have more freedom as such in spite of a belief in fundamentalist biblical interpretations.
     I found Shattered Dreams to be a studied glimpse into the reality behind sister-wives. Jealousy, poverty, and a subservient posture towards men and whoever declares himself to be god's next prophet is a recipe for personal disaster. I learned bits about plural marriages that I had been previously unaware of. Recommended to those readers who like religious-type memoirs and perhaps to sociology students.
     I wish Irene Spencer well and I do hope that she continues in her classes for creative writing and in her speaking engagements.

     

The Hypocrisy of Disco by Clane Hayward

The Hypocrisy of Disco: A Memoir, Clane Hayward. San Francisco: Chronicle Books LLC, 2012. e-book, 215 pps.


     Clane Hayward grew up in the sixties with several siblings and a mother who was disposed to picking out awful lovers and gross places to live. Her mother and the adults around here were doing the hippy trip. Unfortunately for Clane and the other kids around her, the grown-ups weren't very adult-like.

sapphoq reviews says: Clane Hayward's autobiography leaves off at age thirteen when she left her family for good. Her writing is competent. She relates her memories without going into neurotic fits of blaming her parents for their irresponsible ways and poor choices. I liked this book. Highly recommended for those who like memoirs in which the folks remembering are not embedded in victimhood.

The Youngest Bishop in England by Robert Bridgstock

The Youngest Bishop in England: Beneath the Surface of Mormonism, Robert Bridgstock. Tuscon AZ: See Sharp Press, 2014. e-book, 218 pps.

Robert Bridgstock, a convert to Mormonism with a pretty young wife who was raised in the religion, quickly rises through the ranks. Unfortunately, he has questions and concerns. The reigning bishops don't like that sort of thing. His wife dies too young and he is kicked out of the L.D.S. fold.

sapphoq reviews says: The rest of the book consists of Robert Bridgstock's thoughts on his experience and on Mormon theology. He becomes a different sort of Christian but acknowledges that those who abandon their faith for atheism are especially brave. Although atheist, I liked this book. Bridgstock raises some excellent concerns about the actions of those who are followers of Christ in an institutional setting which is jaded and based on the "revelations" of a fellow who was a bit of a flim-flam artist. L.D.S. folks will take exception to the evidence that the writing that Joseph Smith actually "found" was an Egyptian funerary formulary. Christians will enjoy this book. Highly recommended.

Crazy by Roberta Carly Redford

Crazy: My Seven Years at Bruno Bettelheim's Orthogenic School, Roberta Carly Redford. [self-published], Lulu.com, 2011. e-book, 287 pps.


     Bruno Bettelheim [there is some disagreement over whether or not he was actually qualified as any sort of doctor] was a name I'd heard of many years ago. I remember slogging my way through a book written by him called "Love is Not Enough" about the residential facility that he founded and ran for some years in Chicago. He was reputedly an expert on autistic kids when folks still believed that "refrigerator moms"-- cold and frigid women incapable of giving off human warmth or maternal affection-- were responsible for the incubation of autism in their offspring.

     From Crazy, I learned that-- after his suicide and subsequent un-silencing of the voices of past child and teen residents of O.S. [Orthogenic School]-- his version of "love"certainly wasn't enough. O.S. kids were beaten by Bruno Bettelheim [and by some staffers] allegedly for their own good. They were also subject to unwanted touching and random crazy outbursts by the man who appeared to be a giant teddy bear to those of us who were [forced to be, in my case] readers of his books.

     In at least one other review, the author Roberta Carly Redford was described as being so angry that her anger detracted from her message. It is unfortunate that this current society appears to expect that survivors will be grateful and good. I don't hold her anger against her. The anger is a necessary part of healing.

     Roberta Carly Redford was dumped at O.S. by her adoptive parents. She used the phrase "identified problem" in Crazy. That is a phrase which I understand. One person in the family is forced into the role of the "identified problem" and thus any sort of mental hell treatment or therapy is directed at that one person as being the one person who is the primary cause of familial dysfunction, or who is so different that he or she does not fit into their "normal, average, good" family and thus ought to be shipped off to be fixed or changed. No return until the crazy behavior is mitigated.

     Fortunately, Bruno Bettelheim did not use psychiatric drugs on his charges. [Perhaps the writing of scripts would have been problematic, I do not know]. Psych drugs are no picnic and back in the days when Bettelheim was alive, they had an even wider range of wicked side effects.

sapphoq reviews says: Roberta Carly Redford has written a powerful memoir of her seven years at O.S. These seven years are years that she cannot get back. After her time at the place, she required therapy to help her through her original issues plus those that she acquired while under Bettelheim's "therapeutic milieu" *cough, cough*. I believe her. I wish her the very best. Highly recommended.

Gone to the Crazies by Alison Weaver

Gone to the Crazies: A Memoir, Alison Weaver. New York: HarperCollins e-books, 2007, 2008.  241 pps.


     Alison Weaver is an only child. She came from an affluent family that lived in Manhattan and also spent time at their second home in Connecticut. She went to an expensive private school.

     Things changed and the Weavers arranged to have their daughter escorted to Cascade School in Whitmore, California.

     Weaver has mixed emotions about that time in her life. Cascade School [now closed] was founded by a former "counselor" of Cedu in Florida. Once Cedu became official, Mel Wasserman had to dump some of the original staffers. They went out into the world, spreading the philosophy and methods employed at Cedu. Some of the methods were borrowed directly from Synanon-- a cultish long-term residential drug "treatment" program. The rest of the methods appear to have been cobbled together from sources which included primal scream therapy. The result at Cascade School was rather bad education but substantial group "therapy" conducted by people who were not qualified to do so.

     Cascade used the vocabulary that Cedu facilities used [http://wiki.fornits.com/index.php/CEDU_lingo] along with nine special forums called "profeets" [shades of K. Gibran, EST, The Forum, and Life Spring] which the kids were required to attend and participate in before "graduation." In other "rap" or group sessions, the kids were required to scream, yell, and cry on demand.

     Although the Cedu facilities officially went bankrupt in 2004 or 2005, indications are that a few of them may be back in operation and are being watched by folks who monitor troubled teen torture industries and cult-like programs.

     Alison Weaver had some hard times after getting out of Cascade School. She did not join any twelve step program but reports that she no longer takes street drugs and that having a singular glass of wine is no cause for her to panic these days.

sapphoq reviews says: Alison Weaver's memoir was an easy and engrossing read. I found her recollection of her feelings as a child and pre-teen to be entirely believable. [Some reviewers found them to be canned]. Although towards the end of the book, the author reveals Cascade School's connection with Cedu it was apparent that she did not know the history behind the crap she endured at the time that she was going through it. I'm glad that she got out alive. Although she is not fond of the internet survivor boards, Alison Weaver has managed to survive and even thrive in spite of her experiences at Cascade School. Recommended as a cautionary tale to parents who are considering "educational consultant services" for their "troubled teen." Old hippies and those who are involved with protesting against such institutional abuse may also like this one.

p.s. I too believe that Alison's word should have been power.

Helpless by Rosie Lewis

Helpless, Rosie Lewis. London: HarperCollins Publishers Ltd., 2013. e-book, 26 pps.

Rosie Lewis, a specialized foster carer, relates a story about a newborn that she cared for during the first six weeks. 

sapphoq reviews says: This short but true tale of a fostered newborn will appeal to those who like syrupy stuff. It was not my cup of tea. 
     The larger story is about babies who are born with drugs in their system and their birth mothers who were unable to or unwilling to stay clean [including the drug alcohol] during their pregnancies.
     Read it if you want to. [Free].

Innocence Isn't Enough by G. John Armstrong

Innocence Isn't Enough: A Journey Into the Nightmare of False Accusation, G. John Armstrong. Bloomington, Indiana: AuthorHouse, 2005. e-book, 301 pps.

He was a teacher somewhere on the West Coast. He was dedicated and happy in his work. But all of that changed in 1989. Elizabeth Loftus' ground-breaking work on how memory actually works was still being cursed by some gung-ho therapists and patients who believed in the truth of "recovered memories." [Some still curse her work and the False Memory Syndrome Foundation in turn]. 

He was indicted on five charges of sexual assaults which involved three students. Yes, 'repressed memories' figured significantly in the case. The dedicated teacher supposedly had a torrid affair with one student at his home several times a week. He supposedly operated as a perpetrator would, identifying the weak and shy students and culling them from the herd for his deviant purposes. The public who read about the case or heard about the case automatically assumed guilt. The justice system also did. Investigators wanted to believe those that came forward instead of investigating the evidence as objectively as possible. He was threatened with a long prison term. Life began to suck badly.

There was a protracted Board of Education arbitration hearing with a three-member panel. That sort of hearing does not take place everyday over the course of a week or so. His took place over the course of a year and a half. It wasn't done yet when he told his lawyer that he'd had enough. The schedule was random and unpredictable. His life was being dictated by the Board in accordance with when he was to show up or not show up. He withdrew from the hearing and felt that he had gotten part of his life back.

In late 1990, sometime after the aborted hearing process, the author and his elderly parents learned via a radio news broadcast that he was facing criminal charges. The prosecutor did not contact the author's attorney before his press release. Everything is supposed to go through the attorney first but this was not done. Instead, the media got the story and ran with it. Finally, he received copies of his indictment and of some transcripts of investigations which were carried out. [These are reproduced word-for-word in the book].

In November of 1992, after two prosecutors quit, the teacher's lawyer (now from Legal Aid) succeeded in getting the case thrown out on constitutional grounds. The case had kept changing as witnesses kept changing or embellishing their stories, as more 'memories' were recovered, as the prosecution kept adding witnesses last minute.

The other side appealed. In May of 1993, three appellate court judges threw the case out forever. The man was finally free to get on with his life and a new career. In spite of his innocence, he would never teach again.

sapphoq reviews says: False accusations do happen for a variety of reasons. A vic might mix up the benign actions of one person with those of someone who actually did victimize him or her. G. John Armstrong maintains in his book that some people just like to cause other people pain.

Innocence Isn't Enough was very persuasive and believable. The author was the true victim of an over-zealous system. In reading the court documents and transcripts, I was able to detect the major contradictions in the testimonies of the three accusers and their allies. 

A sad story. I wish G. John Armstrong the best in his future endeavors. Highly recommended.

I'm Down by Mishna Wolff

I'm Down: A Memoir, Mishna Wolff.  New York: St. Martin's Press, 2009.  e-book, 208 pps.

     Mishna and her younger sister are white.  Their divorced parents are white.  But their dad thinks he is black.  He is so enamored of Black Culture that he lives in a black neighborhood and raises his children as if they were also black.  The two sisters attend a summer recreational program with not much recreation in it.  Mishna learns how to cap.  She despairs of her dad's increasingly bizarre girlfriends and eventually is forced to retreat to her mother's home in an affluent [predominantly] white neighborhood.  She discovers that a few of her white rich girl classmates are pretty mixed up in spite of their very different upbringing.

sapphoq reviews says:  Mishna Wolff has written a fine memoir of her unique upbringing.  Her memories are treated with both seriousness and humor.  I could picture her as a younger in my mind.  Highly recommended as an anecdotal exploration of what it means to be the Other in the United States of America.

Atypical by Jesse A.Saperstein

Atypical: Life with Asperger's in 20 1/3 Chapters, Jesse A.Saperstein.  New York: Perigee Book/ Penguin Group Inc., 2010.  e-book, 186 pps.

A gambling casino dedicated to Aspergians.  How to scare off the door-knockers and telemarketers.  Reading a Chanukah poem to a congregation with permission of the rabbi.  The poem is modeled after "T'was the Night Before Christmas."  Christmas cards to strangers, DVDs, and Halloween.

Jesse A. Saperstein was a misunderstood child who grew up.  The class clown went to college, hiked the Appalachian Trail, had a job at IBM, was a substitute teacher for awhile, and then happily got a job at a mortuary. 

sapphoq reviews says:  Jesse A. Saperstein has created a laugh-out-loud book.  Atypical is an excellent read for adults who have Asperger's Syndrome or who are suspected Aspies as well as for people who enjoy belly laughs.  I loved this book.  Highly recommended. 

P.S.  I found myself quite jealous of the author's Uncle Justin.  I could have used one of them myself.  I still can.  Uncle Justin, if you are still out there, I'm interested in becoming an adopted family member.  kthxbai.

eCult by Betty J.R. Chavez

eCult: A Sister's Memoir, Betty J.R. Chavez.  New York: Writer's Showcase, 2001.  e-book, 378 pps.

Betty J.R. Chavez grew up in a family of six children.  She is a mainstream fundamentalist Christian and continues to support family values.  In 1998, one of her siblings-- Jan, along with Jan's husband Jim disappeared-- along with the rest of the Concerned Christians who were living in Denver, Colorado.  The Concerned Christians group was defined by Betty as a cult because its' leader Kim Miller advocated that the members [fifty to eighty all told, the exact number is unclear] dump their families and just stick with him and other members. 

eCult purports that the members of the Concerned Christians were also controlled by e-mail.  Betty J.R. Chavez corresponded with her sister by e-mail.  She endeavored to point out to her sister the erroneous interpretations of scripture that Kim Miller was espousing.  Sometimes it was her sister who wrote back. Other times it was Kim Miller or other members of the church who wrote back.  The author could tell when it wasn't her sister by the wording of the e-mails.  The e-mail exchanges resulted in no changes.  Jan and Jim remained in Concerned Christians.  Their exact whereabouts were unknown at the end of the book. 

This article here: http://www.religionnewsblog.com/22679/concerned-christians-kim-miller written in 2008 states that the members of Concerned Christians are probably overseas.  A web search reveals several websites operated by Kim Miller and his group are still up.

sapphoq reviews says:  As I read eCult, I could feel the heartbreak that Betty J.R. Chavez and the rest of her family has gone through because of Concerned Christians.  The leader, Monte Kim Miller, claims to have a direct pipeline to the Almighty and that his God speaks directly through him.  In spite of the serious illness of another sister, Jan and Jim stayed away.  Although some of the dialogue was stilted in the direction of overly-explanatory expositions, eCult is a book that will stay with me for a long time.  Having witnessed the effects of a coercive group on those in it and those left behind up close, I have much sympathy for the plight of all involved in eCult.  Readers who are not able to deal with biblical arguments for whatever personal reasons ought to give this one a miss.  Recommended to those who are interested in studies of destructive groups. 

N.B.  The group Concerned Christians started by Monte Kim Miller is not affiliated with a group from Mesa, Arizona which helps ex-Mormons.

A Little Book of Mormon Stories by Ingrid Ricks

A Little Book of Mormon (and Not So Mormon) Stories, Ingrid Ricks.  self-published, Ricks Communications L.L.C., 2012.  e-book, 110 pps.

@bookhustler on Twitter;  http://www.ingridricks.com

Ingrid Ricks talks about her strict Mormon upbringing in A Little Book of Mormon (and Not So Mormon) Stories.  Her parents were diametrical opposites.  Mother loved rules and regulations and all things L.D.S.  Dad was ex-communicated from the L.D.S., had a temper and also hated to be tied down to one spot.  Ingrid wanted less dysfunction in her home and to rescued by the Osmond family.  [Note:  I've known two other folks who also wanted rescue by the Osmonds].  Ingrid made it through a couple of foster kids living with the family.  The foster kids were a direct result of the L.D.S. push to convert and save the Lamanites.  Lamanites are what many Mormons call the Native Americans.  Through the years, Ingrid identified more strongly with her dad.  As an adult, she comes to appreciate her mother's uniqueness and also got to know her grandmother a bit.

sapphoq reviews says: A Little Book of Mormon Stories illustrates the dysfunction that can happen in any family due to problems between the parents.  Ingrid's parents had widely divergent dreams, viewpoints, and goals.  Her mother was what her dad referred to as a "religious fanatic."  Ingrid found the L.D.S. to be rather stifling and freed herself from that particular belief system.  The stories flowed together well and I really enjoyed this book.  One does not have to be a Mormon to relate.  A quick casual read which left me wishing it was longer.  Recommended.

Criminal Mischief by Keaton Albertson

Criminal Mischief: Delightful Chronicles of Juvenile Delinquency, Keaton Albertson.  self-published: 2010.  e-book, 288 pps.

Keaton Albertson recollects some youthful disinhibitions in Criminal Mischief.  He has two strange brothers, a dad who understands more than he let on to understanding, a mother who curses when screaming at her kids not to curse, some best friends, and some teachers at a public school who are primarily practicing Mormons, or L.D.S. due to being in Utah and all of that.  Keaton Albertson himself was reared as a Mormon but [in a later book] successfully left that particular faith.

Criminal Mischief is about all boyish pranks that border to-- or at times outright crosses over to-- the criminal.  Although aware that I was rooting for the "wrong side" I could not help but laugh at his antics.  I envy Keaton as a child.  By comparison I was too quiet and never got to vandalize teachers' houses or blow stuff up.  And I'm glad that he didn't get sent away to one of them behavior mod boarding facilities.  That probably would have wrecked his writing style as well as a large measure of his life and what makes Keaton Albertson a cause celebre among folks like us.

sapphoq reviews says:  Yeah, Keaton Albertson was something as a young boy and teen.  I laughed through all of Criminal Mischief.  But there was more than boyhood pranks here.  There was also an astute comment on the hypocrisy of his high school faculty when the call came to deny his buddy's valedictorianship on the basis of a "lack of moral character".  If you object to lots of cursing, trash talk, or kids that aren't behaving in a lily white fashion, skip all things Keaton Albertson.  If you don't, you are in for a rollicking ride with Criminal Mischief.

Don't Let'sGo to the Dogs Tonight by Alexandra Fuller

Don't Let's Go to the Dogs Tonight, Alexandra Fuller, New York: Random House, 2001.  ebook, 256 pps.

When I was a kid, I briefly knew a girl and her mother who invited me to a museum with them.  Where there, they fawned over the sculptures and pottery that was from what was then called Rhodesia.  "The best stuff isn't here," the mother sniffed.  I didn't understand really.  Turned out both had lived there together when the girl was even younger.  Girl might have been born there, I don't actually recall.  I grew up in an openly prejudiced family.  These two had an Irish surname and freckles.  I knew next to nothing about Africa.  I was a kid as I have stated.  Too young to know that the "Social Studies" books we were given were woefully inadequate.  Neither one of them said anything else about this Rhodesia which I knew was located on the continent of Africa but nothing else.  I have no idea now of where they had lived, what they done there, or why they had left.  They didn't offer any information.  I wasn't prone to asking.  As a matter of fact, I could not even detect an accent.  To me, they sounded like everyone else in my mixed up neighborhood.  At any rate, they both disappeared shortly afterwards.  Perhaps mother and young daughter had gone back to Africa, maybe to a safer place than Rhodesia.  At any rate, I never saw them again.  Alexandra Fuller's book is about a childhood in Africa.  It is the book that I wish I'd had as a child.  Certainly more accurate than our "Social Studies" books.

The family hailed from England but when Alexandra Fuller was a toddler went back to Africa.  There was a farm, a series of farms.  Mom and dad were a bit taken up with the drink.  Especially Mom.  She got a bit maudlin at times, was prone to belting out songs at random.  There were two surviving sibs.  The author-- called BoBo in the book-- was one of them.  Her older sister Vanessa-- called Van-- was the other one.  There was a war and guns and the hazards of living in places where the wild things had been first.

sapphoq reviews says:  A very likeable memoir.  Worth a read for anyone who is an armchair traveler into other peoples' yesterdays living in faraway lands. 

The Cult That Snapped, by Karl Kahler

The Cult That Snapped: A Journey Into The Way International, Karl Kahler.  self-published? 1999.  e-book, 410 pps.

Karl Kahler has written a fairly comprehensive book dealing with both some history of The Way, International and his own personal experiences as a W.O.W. [Word Over the World ambassador].  Kahler had dropped out of high school and was seeking his fortune working at his dad's business when a co-worker insisted one day that a hitchhiker be picked up.  Her name was Valencia from Connecticut.  She was cute and sexy and drank and shot pool. It was a walk across the street to meet the rest of the gang, self-styled quasi-teachers of the Bible a la V.P. Weirwille, the leader of The Way. 

V.P. had some erroneous notions-- the biggest one being that the Bible-- the part starting with Matthew at least-- was written in Aramaic, not Greek.  His followers smoked cigarettes, cussed, drank, and were as free with having sex with anyone that moved, just like he was.  His empire fell apart with the advent of his death and L. Craig Martindale's assumption of the mantle of leadership.

Kahler was around for the last part of V.P. and the first bits of Martindale.  [Martindale is out now.  According to the official website of The Way, International, the new leader is a woman who was a vice president when Kahler was around].  Martindale was intent on having his own witch hunt.  So he dumped a bunch of people, including folks who opposed him. 

Kahler had been having doubts about the teachings, lots of doubts.  He studied Joshua and Judges and found internal inconsistencies and stuff not substantiated by the historical record.   A trip to Israel cinched it for him pretty much when he found that the story of Jesus casting a bunch of demons into some swine was cited in two of the gospels as happening in "the country of the Gadarenes" and in "the country of the Gergesenes" were two really different places some miles apart during the tour.

At any rate, Kahler found that he no longer believed the stuff he had been taught in V.P. style classes and biblical study groups.  He left, but Martindale kicked him out officially by letter three years later.

sapphoq reviews says: The Cult That Snapped includes a lot of history of the movement started by V.P. Wierwille and how the cult operated to recruit members.  I applaud Kahler for getting out after he found that he no longer was a Christian.  I suspect that this book won't have the same appeal to others that some of the other "losing my religion/leaving my former cult" books I've recently read because of both the historical content and the scriptural exigeneses in its' pages.  Still and all, The Cult That Snapped is worthy in its' own right.  Recommended. 

The Guru Looked Good by Marta Szabo

The Guru Looked Good: A Memoir, Marta Szabo.  Woodstock N.Y.: Tinker Street Press, 2009.  344 pps., e-book.

Marta Szabo got herself a guru.  Well, two in fact-- one at a time.  The first guy was called Natvar.  He was abusive.  It took seven years to leave him.  But she left her boyfriend, apartment, life, and dreams for Natvar's former guru-- the one he himself had before he went bad.  She was a woman by the name of Gurumayi and she was associated with a large center in the Catskill Mountains of New York State [which I believe has been since sold] and with one in Ganeshpuri, India.  Gurumayi is, as far as I can tell from looking through various Internet sites, the head of the S.Y.D.A. Foundation ®. .  And there are bunches of other ashrams around which are also Siddha Yoga ashrams.  Unfortunately, the guru Natvar's guru-- Gurumayi Chidvilasananda, the Gurumayi of Szabo's book stands accused of improprieties.  Gurumayi Chidvilasanda's guru-- Baba Muktananda-- is dead now but has been similarly accused.  These alleged improprieties are documented on such sites as the one put up by Pendragon and now maintained by Daniel Shaw, the introduction being http://leavingsiddhayoga.net/ where a link can be found to more info at http://leavingsiddhayoga.net/frames2.htm .  But Szabo's memoir does not go into the accusations as she has some of her own to make.

Szabo spent a decade on staff at the Fallsburg ashram in the Catskills and chronicles how she had put her writing life on hold in exchange for someone else's "I know better how to do your life than you do."  Szabo's words on page 341 have the ring of truth:
    
     I began reading books on cults and recognized what
     I saw.  Over and over, people doing what in their
     heart of hearts they didn't completely believe in or
     support, but doing it because they thought someone
     else knew better.  Doing it because they were afraid
     to speak up.

sapphoq reviews says: The Guru Looked Good is an excellent book with a crisp writing style that is authentic and clear.  Highly recommended to those who are in Siddha Yoga, were in Siddha Yoga, survivors who have left cults, and anyone who is comtemplating "finding a guru."  I am looking forward to reading more from Marta Szabo.

Jesus Land by Julia Scheeres

Jesus Land (A Memoir) , Julia Scheeres.  Berkeley: Counterpoint, 2005. e-book, 274 pps.

Julia Scheeres is from a white fundamentalist Christian family.  They lived in Indiana, mother, father, a coupla kids.  Dad made a good living as a surgeon.  Her mom and dad wanted to adopt a kid, but the agency said the kid they wanted was already taken.  The agency pointed out that there was a bunch of black kids in need of a home.  Being Christians and all, mom and dad felt like they could not refuse to adopt a kid on the basis of his skin tone.  First they adopted David, a child a year younger than Julia.  Then they adopted an older black boy so David would have someone else in the family who was black.

Prejudice runs deep even in religious places.  David and his brother attracted their share of nasty comments from the other school kids.  Julia and David stuck up for each other and were fairly inseparable.  Eventually there were several falling outs and the Scheeres adults decided to dump David at a fundamentalist Christian school called Escuela Caribe in the Dominican Republic.  This school was run with the assumption that all of the teens attending there were messed up and evil and had done stuff like having premarital sex and thus deserved to be there.  Julia was astonished to find her mother clearing out David's room one day.  That was the day that Julia learned that David was being x'ed out of her parents' lives on a permanent basis, good Christians that they were.

After a bit, Julia's parents discovered that she had premarital sex with a boy.  She wound up being dumped off at Escuela Caribe as well.  The school sucked.  There was abuse there, just as there had been at Julia's home in Indiana.  Julia and David both got out after a time.  Julia found that she was no longer a Christian.  I won't tell you what happened with David.

sapphoq reviews says: Jesus Land is an outstanding memoir.  It illustrates what happens when religious dogma becomes more important than loving others.  Highly recommended.

Children of Dust, by Ali Eteraz

Ali Eteraz, Children of Dust. New York: Harper One, 2009. hard cover, 337 pps.

Ali Eteraz was born Abir ul Islam in a small village in Pakistan. He built his identity around having been promised to serve Islam. He attended madrassa and was beaten. Beatings were routine during lessons if a boy made too many mistakes in his recitation of a portion of the Koran which was set for his memorization that day. And sometimes for other things.

He migrated to the United States with his family, finally settling in the Bible Belt. Abir then became Amir. The young Amir experimented with sex and the secular, then settling into a routine of super-Islam-dude. His idealized self fell short when presented with the responsibility of running a student Muslim organization in college.

He became a lawyer, lost his practice, reinvented himself as Ali Eteraz and went to Kuwait to seek converts to his idea of Islamic reform. A friend enlightens him. He returns to the United States.

This book was not as satisfying to me as A Thousand Splendid Suns was, but still good and worth reading. Ali's name changes seemed to be a bit more than the reinvention of his self. To me there were whispers of fragmented selves rather than an integrated personality. I may be wrong about that. That is the impression the book left with me.

sapphoq reviews says: recommended to those who are curious about life in a small Pakistani village.