Etched in Sand by Regina Calcaterra

Etched in Sand: A True Story of Five Siblings Who Survived an Unspeakable Childhood on Long Island, Regina Calcaterra. London: HarperCollins Publishers, 2013. ebook, 240 pps.

     Regina was one of five siblings who grew up in (most of the time) poverty and (pretty near all of the time) extreme abuse imposed by her mother and the foster care system. Her mother was indiscriminately abusive towards all of her children and some of her male lovers as well. Eventually, Regina and three of her sisters got out. One sister wasn't able to get out until legal age due to total and abject system failure. A brother-- the apparent favored child-- may not have wanted to get out.

sapphoq reviews says: Regina Calcaterra recounts an appalling and heart-wrenching story of what happened to her and her siblings at the hands of adults who were supposed to protect them. I thought that this book was genuine and brutally honest and ought to be required reading by all people who work in the foster care system and maybe some parents as well. Highly recommended.

Pilgrim's Wilderness by Tom Kizzia

Pilgrim'sWilderness: A True Story of Faith and Madness on the Alaska Frontier, Tom Kizzia. New York: Crown Publishers/ Random House, Inc., 2013. e-book, 285 pps.

     Robert Hale was a sick dude. To look at him and his large family, the casual observer might have concentrated on the Christian message that he was presenting and the apparent wholesomeness of his lifestyle. 

     But appearances can be deceiving. Behind close doors, his wife and children suffered. "Papa Pilgrim" was quick with the insults and quick with the belt. There was physical abuse to be sure. And incest. Some extreme drinking on the part of "Papa." The expectation that his wife and his children would jump whenever he ordered them around. His brood did exactly as instructed or consequences would be dire.

       The family had relocated to Alaska after bits of trouble in other places. They lived on a mountain outside of McCarthy. At first the people of McCarthy welcomed the Pilgrim family. They sang and played musical instruments. That changed.

sapphoq reviews says: Robert Hale was a fundamentalist Christian with a nasty twist. He was his own church. He was also mean. Pilgrim's Wilderness lays out the story of the Hale family against the backdrop of the history of McCarthy, Alaska. Another fundamentalist Christian family living in the Alaska frontier [whose dad was not mean and the center of his own cult] provided rescue. The children were able to get out. They did not abandon their Christian faith. They did come to understand that the actions of their "Papa" were not Christ-like. I wish every one of them happiness and peace.
     For those adults who are interested in the study of familial religious cults and dysfunctional families as well as for those who like bits of Alaskan history with their biographies, highly recommended.

Born into The Children of God by Natacha Tormey

Born into The Children of God: My life in a religious sex cult and my struggle for survival on the outside, Natacha Tormey. London: HarperElement/ HarperCollins Publishers, 2014. e-book, 233 pps.


     Several kids in my high school joined up with The Children of God-- as the sex cult was known in its early days. One of them took me to the commune in New York City once. Even back then, the commune residents were dependent upon the charity of others/ donations/ garbage-raiding for food. The commune itself was a converted warehouse, rather grungy-looking. It was a place I knew I didn't want to wind up living in.

     The girl who took me to the commune got kicked out of our high school. She was intellectually brilliant but had decided to rely on "the Lord" to give her the answers to tests. Homework remained undone in favor of memorization of Bible verses, reading Moe Letters, and preaching to whatever bugs were flying around her head at any given time. I figured that this stuff wasn't really working for her all that well so I continued to do my homework [most of it anyways-- I refused to do proofs in geometry because I figured that if I could just look at the drawings and deduce the answer, doing other stuff was redundant and didn't make sense] and to study for tests.

     The girl told me about Flirty Fishing and Moe David's [David Berg's] excuses for having the C.O.G. women offering sex to businessmen while trying to convert them. It made sense to her. Made no sense to me. Another distinct turn-off.

     A few years ago, people who had escaped from the sex cult that the Children of God had devolved into began to tell their stories on the Internet via forums for ex-members and in published books. And the stuff that was coming out was horrid, sick, depraved. Adults having sex with other adults and children. Beatings of kids. Living in poverty. Begging on the streets or 'selling' COG lit in order to eat. Communes getting kicked out of various countries.

     I picked up Born into The Children of God thinking that I was prepared for whatever Natacha Tormey had written about. Perhaps not so prepared. Her book is a personal memoir of what it was like being born into a sex cult and how difficult life is outside of that cult when that was all she ever knew. Kids were abused in there [and I deeply suspect probably still are under the auspices of The Family International or whatever what is left of COG is calling itself these days]. Natacha Tormey was fortunate. Two of her brothers weren't. 

sapphoq reviews says: Natacha Tormey has written about her experiences in a clear and direct voice. For adults who are interested in coercive religions and cultic studies, personal memoirs and child abuse: highly recommended.

Not Without My Sister by Celeste Jones, Juliana Buhring and Kristina Jones

Not Without My Sister: The True Story of Three Girls Violated and Betrayed by Those They Trusted. Celeste Jones, Juliana Buhring and Kristina Jones. New York: HarperCollins Publishers, 2012. e-book, 342 pps.


     I knew a couple of teens who had gotten involved with the Children of God, now known as The Family of Love or The Family International. One committed suicide. The other eventually went to Puerto Rico as a C.O.G. "missionary." I heard she got out. I hope that is true.

     Rebekah [not the Rebekah in the book] took me along to visit the commune in a rundown section of New York City. I've forgotten now what borough it was in. The adults who lived there-- I didn't see any children or teens-- appeared to be happy. While we were there, someone arrived with some food "donations" for the day. There was bits of singing and speaking in tongues. I remember that distinctly. The commune itself was located in a rundown dark warehouse, not anyplace that I would want to live. 

     I knew about Flirty Fishing from Rebekah but I was not interested in being involved with anything that promoted "winning souls" through sex. Rebekah claimed that sex with prospective converts never resulted in pregnancy because god made sure of that. I didn't think that could possibly be true. [It wasn't]. I'd seen a few of the Mo letters too. The ones that I saw must have been rather tame. I don't recall anything striking about them other than lots of Bible verses. I did not see the comic books or any films.

     High school life went on and I lost track of Rebekah sometime after her enforced transfer out. I'd forgotten about her until I ran across the ex-COG websites. I'm glad that I didn't get involved with the C.O.G. Reading Not Without My Sister made me even more happy. What held me back was my dad. I could not and would not leave him behind.

     Not Without My Sister describes the horrific abuse of teens, children, toddlers, and babies under the guise of "love." The C.O.G. had evolved into the Family of Love. Under Mo's dictatorship-- and later his second wife's-- disciples were ordered to "date" each other on a rotating basis. This included children with adults as well as children with children.

sapphoq reviews says: The three siblings who authored Not Without My Sister did an excellent job of exposing the sexual and other abuse as practiced by the C.O.G./ The Family of Love/ The Family International. The book also exposed bits of the practices of the higher-ups which co-incidentally included developing dossiers on people who are brave enough to leave the cult, a practice borrowed directly from Scientology.
     This book is not for the faint-hearted or the easily triggered. For other adults, highly recommended.

Disbelief 101 by Chris Edwards

Disbelief 101: A Young Person's Guide to Atheism, Chris Edwards / S.C. Hitchcock. Tucson AZ: See Sharp Press, 2009.


     Disbelief 101 was written for teens, although adults new to atheism or endeavoring to find clear info on atheism will also benefit from this book. S.C. Hitchcock presents arguments for and against the existence of a god. The first chapter takes a page from various parody religions and presents the Invisible Flying Clown. [The flying spaghetti monster and the invisible pink unicorn bless her holy hooves immediately came to my mind]. 

     Leslie White provided the cartoon at the end of each chapter. They are well-drawn and funny. I was delighted to find the first one, and each subsequent one.

     The rest of the book takes issue with the idea that "atheism is a religion," intelligent design, survivor special-ness, the role of feelings in belief, and religious indoctrination of children.

     Also included is a bibliography.


sapphoq reviews says: It is rather unfortunate that the last chapter of Disbelief 101 takes on religious indoctrination of children as an example of child abuse. This I think is the author's weakest argument. The author states that the teens reading this book ought not to openly rebel against their parents over this. The author may have also been remiss by not encouraging teens to learn about the religion of their family and other religions.  
     It might have been better if the author had pointed out that the United States did not sign the U.N. Rights of a Child document. Therefore, in the U.S.A., it is the parents who have charge of their children's religious or non-religious upbringing.
     I have had the privilege of being close with two sets of parents who are atheists. One set took their brood to the Unitarian Church when questions of "What religion are we?" came up. At that particular congregation, the kids learned about evolution in Sunday School and also about different cultures and religions. The second set of parents said to their kids when confronted with proselytizing peers, "Your mom and dad are atheists. When you are an adult, you can decide those things for yourselves."
     I think there is great value in teaching kids [and those adults who don't know it] the various cognitive fallacies and how to construct a sound argument. Whether children decide to stick with familial religious practices or familial atheism, or pick something else as adults, logical thinking is one skill that serves all of us well.
     Disbelief 101 is a valuable book for those teens who have already decided that they do not believe in any gods. Other teens may feel brow-beaten by the continuous assertions that there is no god. Because I cannot endorse children or teens reading books that their parents do not approve of, recommended with reservations.
     

Switching Time by Richard Baer

Switching Time, Richard Baer.  New York: Crown Publishers, 2007. ebook, 295 pps.

Like a large percentage of people diagnosed with Multiple Personality Disorder or Dissociative Identity Disorder [depending up what year the diagnosis was made], Karen-- a pseudonym-- had endured horrendous abuse by her family as a child.  Subsequently, she hooked up with an abusive mate.  In her struggle to break free of that, she began therapy with Richard Baer.

At some point, Karen's alters began to surface and communicate with her therapist.  They had a litany of complaints.  Karen herself was conscious only of losing time.  Losing time is like an alcoholic blackout caused by the shifting of alters-- the body continues to function and have a life but the brain does not remember later-- who will say and do things that the core will not.  Eventually, Karen developed co-consciousness with varying alters.  She also recovered specific memories of ritual abuse.

By the end of the book, Karen integrated and gave permission for the book to be written.  She reportedly furnished many corrections and expansions but was satisfied with the execution of her case study.

The part of the book that fascinated me was the description of Karen's parents.  Her father went to trial for the sexual abuse of a young niece.  Karen was tricked into taking her mother to the hospital to pick up her father after his discharge.  He had been found to have metastasized cancer.  In typical fashion, her parents blamed Karen for his woes.  They also had the expectation that she would drop in on her father daily to check on his well-being while her mother was away.  When she refused, they informed her that she owed this service to them and that she was an ingrate.

sapphoq reviews says: Switching Time is the typical story of woman diagnosed with multiple personalities written by her therapist after her integration.  Those singletons who enjoy television shows where laundry is aired in public and those who are fascinated by the concept of multiple personalities will probably like Switching Time.  I hesitate to recommend Switching Time.  There is something about not wishing to encourage other folks on the D.I.D. continuum to allow their stories to be told by professional helpers.  Those who are triggered by reading about childhood sexual abuse ought to stay away entirely.  On the question: Can more than one "personality" exist in one body? I remain neutral.  I want to say that horrific childhood abuse can do that to someone.  Yet I hesitate because the literature is also filled with stories of childhood "satanic" ritual abuse and references to snuff films.  Sort of not recommended.    

Leaving the Saints, by Martha Beck

Leaving the Saints, Martha Beck.  New York:  Crown Publishers, 2005.  e-book, 272 pps.

Martha and John Beck are a young couple who both grew up in Provo, Utah in Mormon households.  They were married in an Latter Day Saints temple.  They moved east to Boston, had a child and then had another.  Child two has Down Syndrome so the couple decided to move back to their childhood town of Provo, Utah so they could have the support of the close-knit Mormon community.

What had begun to happen to Martha back east evolved into a full-blown mess.  Her father, a sainted pillar of the Church, had sexually abused her as a young child.  Her husband was [and remains] very supportive, which is far more than I can say for many of the relatives and neighbors.

Through the Becks' excursions into parenthood and their awakening self-awareness, first John and then Martha each make a decision that alters their lives permanently.  In deciding that to keep silent for the sake of the L.D.S. is spiritual death, the couple find a new way of being.

sapphoq reviews says:  As evidenced by the reviews on one book site, active Mormons without any misgivings about their religion are bound to despise Leaving the Saints.  Those who secretly or not so secretly harbor doubts will do well to read this book.  Atheists may or may not find the mystical talk to be more than they can chew.  Born again Christians will most likely object to the Becks not having found "the one true Jesus."  Folks like me who are curious about the question of how much abuse does exist among the brethren in Utah are bound to find some disquieting-- even if only anecdotal-- answers in this book.  Highly recommended to atheists who can tolerate some generic god-talk.  Also highly recommended to those who are curious about the Mormons and to readers who are survivors of childhood sexual abuse.    

Clockwork Fagin by Cory Doctorow

Clockwork Fagin, Cory Doctorow.  [free sample from] Steampunk ! ed. by Kelly Link and Gavin J. Grant.  Somerville Mass: Candlewick Press, 2011.  e-book, 35 pps. 

Clockwork Fagin is a dark steampunk story about kids disabled by machinery, a twisted Master Grinder, Saint Agatha's Home for the Rehabilitation of Crippled Children, and a folk hero by the name of Monty.  There are a few ineffective nuns and a couple of night watchmen and a bobby or two that make appearances.  The real glory belong to the children.

The first two nights at St. Aggie's involve being beaten to a pulp by Grinder and then sent to a solitary cell with the rats.  The stripping of any rights such as the right to free association, the right to safe housing and schooling, the right to have competent medical treatment are reminiscent of what happens at some present-day teen torture facilities immediately upon admission.  The other kids are compliant because they have to be in order to survive.  Monty is not.

Monty blows up the order of things and seizes the power that the Grinder had over the crippled kids for far too long.  He starts a revolution and momentum is built as the other kids join in.  People in positions of some authority outside of St. Aggie's are dupped.

sapphoq reviews says: This is a dark steampunk short story that works.  The steampunk setting is integral and crucial to the telling of the tale and not some post script.  Anyone who speaks out publicly against D.R.M. has my vote as a decent human being.  Doctorow has been a steady vocal activist against the craziness threatening to overtake us all by the Intellectual Property Monopoly.  His writing is most excellent.  Some freebies can be had by perusing his website: http://craphound.com/   If you are not familiar with Cory Doctorov, you owe it to yourself to check him out.  @doctorow on Twitter. Clockwork Fagin is most highly recommended.