Poems for Recovery by Kyle Crosby

Poems for Recovery, Kyle Crosby. self-published, 2014. ebook, 19 pps.


Kyle Crosby writes poetry from the heart. His poems address things like bullying, isolation, abuse, shame, recovery, and therapy. I was happy to read that his wife is supportive. I wish him the very best. I encourage people to get the e-book of this young aspiring poet.

[The e-book was free when I got it].

Beyond Belief by Joe C.

Beyond Belief: Agnostic Musings for 12 Step Life: Finally, Daily Reflections for Nonbelievers, Freethinkers and Everyone, Joe C. Toronto: Rebellion Dogs Publishing, 2014, 2013. e-book, 797 pps.



     Beyond Belief is a book of daily thoughts for the rest of us-- those of us who are in recovery from addiction without the involvement of any gods-- who are often neglected or the object of conversion attempts in standard recovery literature. After a quotation, a day's reflection focuses on recovery for those of us who are non-believers. The book is divided into months and days as is standard for meditation books.

sapphoq reviews says: I am currently using Beyond Belief myself as a way to start the day. The writing is of the highest quality and gives me stuff to think about. Highly recommended for the unchurched in recovery and for those believers who consider their religious expressions to be separate from their 12 step recovery.

Secrets of Alcoholics Anonymous Everyone Should Know by Elaine and Dallas

Secrets of Alcoholics Anonymous Everyone Should Know, Elaine and Dallas. ?Eugene, Oregon: Palace Guard Publishing, 2012.  e-book, 50 pps.


The two authors are members of Alcoholics Anonymous and they are for A.A. in spite of the title.  Secrets of Alcoholics Anonymous Everyone Should Know  is a very short e-book which covers whacked sponsors, people on the take [for sex a.k.a. rehab romances or 13-stepping the newcomers], professional criminals and users, and bits of unsavory truth concerning Bill W.

The bits of unsavory truth about Bill W. are not unsavory enough.  The authors leave out the fact that Bill had at least one long term affair [Look up The Orange Papers in your search engine], that he was highly co-dependent [read the chapter to the wives in the Big Book which basically says "Leave the newly recovering alcoholic alone and let him do exactly what he wants to.  Don't stress him out with reality..."], and that he became a sort of mystic [as many folks who claim any sort of special knowledge and/or personal experience with a divinity are].

The stories about rehab romances or early recovery romances, wicked sponsors, and professional criminals are well-told even if a bit dry for digestion.  There is no indication of what percentage of A.A. members fall into the category of "not having your best interest at heart" and consequently I had the distinct impression that the unsavory types described were more widespread than they actually might be.  The authors are quick to say that in spite of their cautionary tale, Alcoholics Anonymous has helped many people achieve sobriety and a life free from the bondage to addiction to alcohol.

sapphoq reviews says:  Secrets of Alcoholics Anonymous Everyone Should Know may be short but useful reading for anyone in early recovery who doesn't know the basic rules about safety, is prone to idealizing people in general, or is naïve.  [N.B.: Or, it may not be so useful].  I am not convinced that "everyone should know" these "secrets."  Certainly, folks who have no reason to attend 12 step meetings can be excluded from the expected or desired readership.  The writing is a bit dull.  Although vulnerable newcomers would do well to heed the advice concerning dating, sex, slime, and sick sponsors, this advice can be neatly summed up by two words:  Pay attention.  Most people will tell you who they are if you allow them to talk long enough.  New folks who either don't know or may have forgotten basic safety rules when dealing with others that they do not know well aren't going to necessarily be helped by Secrets of Alcoholics Anonymous Everyone Should Know.  People in the early stages of recovery need concise information in an easy package.  Give this one a miss unless you feel compelled to read everything with the words "Alcoholics Anonymous" in it.

A.A.? No Way! by Charles Delaney

A.A.? No Way!, Charles Delaney.  Self-published, Smashwords, 2012.  ebook, 59 pps.


Some people find help in traditional [12 step] groups and traditional [based upon the 12 steps] treatment programs and rehabs.  Others don't.  Charles Delaney had been to A.A. and he found the program to be significantly lacking.  The A.A. members themselves appeared to be clones of each other.  Worse, they were not ready to hear Delaney's criticism of the program itself nor what he found in looking for alternatives.

The problem as Charles Delaney sees it is that A.A. has a 95% failure rate.  He states that Rational Recovery has a higher success rate of its members achieving abstinence than A.A. does.  He also states that folks who attempt to quit their addictions by themselves have a better chance of doing so than folks in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous and other Anonymous derivatives.  Delaney does quote from some studies but does not provide any footnotes for his stats.  On page 11, he says "The basic idea of those programs are the best of ideas...put to the worst of applications."  He maintains that Alcoholics Anonymous is in fact a Christian and a religious program.  He criticizes the idea that alcoholics are powerless when it comes to alcohol.  He advocates for the assuming of personal responsibility in addressing one's addiction.

A.A.? No Way! offers criticism of the twelve steps from a pagan perspective.  There is an outline of "A 9-Step Recovery for Asatru/Odinists" [which begins on page 40 in my ebook] that I personally thought were excellent.  After that, the book begins to fall apart.  Delaney endorses an old book  written by plastic surgeon Maxwell Maltz and published in 1960 called Psycho-Cybernetics.  [Psycho-Cybernetics espoused positive thinking, if you can dream it you can do it, and mind-body connection woo-woo].  He then detours into a very rudimentary understanding of brain function and creativity.  A.A.? No Way! finishes up with the idea that there is so much more out there in a life of abstinence than can be found in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous.

sapphoq reviews says:  Some of A.A.? No Way! rang true to me and some didn't.  To his credit, Charles Delaney was quick to point out that those who have found their help in A.A. ought to remain in A.A.  Although A.A.? No Way! lacks in footnotes and a bit of execution, it is especially valuable for those heathens who want to try some steps written specifically for them.  Quite frankly, except for the woo-woo noted within the book he recommended, I liked this little ebook.  Charles Delaney has the barebones for a longer book within the first 43 pages of A.A.? No Way! .  It is my sincere hope that he will undertake a longer book project related to alternatives to 12 step recovery, complete with footnotes but lacking the feel-good woo-woo and pop psychology that often passes for professional treatment these days.  Recommended for heathens who have failed in A.A. because of its' somewhat quasi-christian approach to recovery.

Addiction

Yes, that's right.  I'm reviewing addiction today, including addiction to alcohol also known as alcoholism.  Because I feel like it, that's why.  And because even though I've read a bunch of books since I last reviewed one, I'm too jazzed up to write about any of them.

I was thinking about Steubenville, teens partying in Steubenville, the sexual assaults in Steubenville on a teen who was characterized as being very drunk, passed out, or "dead."

Not every teen who gets into trouble at a party is an alcoholic or has an addiction problem.  Not every teen who gets raped, even while highly intoxicated, is an alcoholic or has an addiction problem.  The vast majority of teens don't.  Some teens who drink and / or drug heavily will moderate as they get older.  A very very few will be unable to moderate even after they get older.

I qualified as an "unable to."  When I was raped, I was already in the throes of addiction.  I had alcoholic blackouts [not remembering a period of time afterwards] regularly.  I used until there was no more.

Do any of the teens in Steubenville qualify as an "unable to?"  I don't know.  I never met any of them.  And I don't qualify to say.  Maybe yes, maybe no, maybe maybe.  The jury is still out on that one.

There are many lists around of how to tell if one is some kind of an addict-- gambling addict, sex addict, drug addict, alcoholic [addict], overeater, food addict, restricter, binger, co-dependent [addiction to people, supposedly], internet addict [more will be revealed], hoarder [a sort of addiction to junk or sometimes to animals], and so forth.  If you think you have a problem, you might.  Or you might not.  Go find yourself one of the lists and answer the questions.  Seek out a professional if you want to and are able to in order to discuss the results with someone who is objective and not screaming at you.  Find a self-help group if that feels right to you.  Find some other ways to take your life back if a self-help group does not feel right for you.

Yes, here in the U.S.A., twelve-step programs dominate the recovery landscape.  Here is an incomplete list of other ways that people have used to stop addictive behavior: joining an ashram, Women for Sobriety, TOPS: Taking Off Pounds Sensibly, becoming religious and sticking with it, psychotherapy, Recovery Incorporated, continuing to be involved with Drug Court on a volunteer basis after completing Drug Court, Secular Sobriety [S.O.S. groups, or Save Our Selves], quitting cold turkey and never looking back.  The purpose of this review is not to present stats on which way of doing it is best or worse.  I'm just saying there are options.

Some people say that in order to recover, one must find a god or a higher power. That ain't necessarily so. When I stopped using, I was a believer. As the years passed, I lost my mysticism. And I don't want it back. There are people who manage to quit their addictions without any sort of diety. Not many perhaps, but yes we do exist.

Addiction is not freedom is an axiom that I believe.  Here's another one that I also subscribe to: Recovery is not necessarily freedom either.  If I want freedom, then I have to take on some responsibility.  The bottom line is that my addiction is not to be used as an excuse for my bad behavior.  My recovery is not to be used as an excuse for my bad behavior either.  Thinking that I am too fragile to show up at work or keep my commitments or become a knowledgeable citizen of my community and the world is a sell-out.  I did not come into recovery in order to remain trapped by my thinking and worldview.  I stopped using and sought out something better because my thinking and my actions were screwed up. 

We should never leave our brains at the door wherever we go.  We need to think.  One of the ways to get better at thinking is to think.  My best thinking told me that what I was doing was not working.  If I wanted something different, I had to do something different.

No matter where I go or who I am with, I pay attention.  I have found that if I listen carefully, most people will tell me who they are.  Do not assume that everyone sitting at that self-help group is okay or safe just because you are sitting in the same room.  Ask the people who died on the airplanes on 9/11 whether or not they still believe that their fellow travelers are safe-- oh, wait.  They are dead.  Get the point?  Trust has to be earned.  I do not have to trust you just because you and I are on the same airplane together, in the same mall together, in the same park together, in the same room together.

If you are a teen, know that you are a carrier of the future.  What you do today is important.  Make today count.  Because one of these days, us old folks won't be here anymore because we will be dead.  If you are a teen and you are drinking and /or drugging, pay attention to what you are doing.  If you find that you cannot moderate your useage of something or that you are having frequent blackouts or that you have a personality change when you are using, it might be worth a second look.  Whether you are addicted or not, you are valuable.  You are the future.  I believe in you.

sapphoq reviews says: True addiction sucks.  If you think you have an addiction problem, explore your options and get some help.  And be careful out there.  Not everyone has our best interests at heart.  Be well.

Cult: A Love Story, Alexandra Amor

Cult, A Love Story (Ten Years Inside a Canadian Cult and the Subsequent Long Road of Recovery), Alexandra Amor.  Smashwords, 2011.
511 pps on e-reader, including footnotes, a glossary of loaded words, resources, and appendix.


Author Alexandra Amor chose to tell her story of cult involvement by utilizing a changed name for the woman who is the leader.  In the book, the leader is referred to as Limori.  In early chapters, Limori appears as a benign but somewhat wigged out psychic teacher of meditation to a small circle of Vancouverites one night a week.  Limori channels.  The identity of the channeling spirit is at first the light of "God".  But something changes and Limori becomes the mouthpiece of "God".  Amor does not possess enough self-trust to identify Limori as a malevolent leader and so she stays on.  

The meditators get used to Limori's outlandish claims in varying degrees and begin to accept her as their guru-- chief human in charge of their spiritual development and as the one who is in tune with "God" and able to speak to what this "God's" will is.  The "God" that Limori claims to channel has many opinions, chiefly involving any wealth obtained by any of the group members and its redistribution to Limori but also including more mundane happenstance such as who shall sleep with who this week.  Limori and her followers eventually wind up at a fishing resort/meditation center left to one of her followers in a will, although of course "God" wants the will for the camp to be signed over to Limori's name.

Alexandra Amor doesn't like it when Limori singles her out for special negative attention.  [She is not real fond of some of Limori's special "rewarding" attention either].  Limori is given to chastising members in front of other members and punishing them in various ways. Still she remains as an unpaid staffer of Limori's camp, just like everyone else.  Amor leaves after Limori steals away her lover by divine commandment.  

sapphoq reviews says: Cult: A Love Story  was difficult to read because the author is very skilled at conveying her pain and distress during the ten years or so that she was involved with Limori and Limori's cult.  Amor is very knowledgeable about her subject matter and taught me how to tell the difference between a religion or organization that has symptoms of being cultish or cult like and one that doesn't.  She refers to The Guru Papers and also to books by Robert Lifton and by Steven Hassan.  Cult: A Love Story points up the danger of accepting another human being as one who has a special hot-line to the deity of choice without question, thus yielding to authoritarian rule.


Amor does not leave the reader with a few words about how she got out of the cult.  Instead, she gives information from experts in the field of freeing people from thought control.  She also indicates that she has herself done the work required to free herself as suggested in the following paragraph which I quote from her book:


          pp.406-407    "Time alone heals nothing.  Let's be
          clear about that right up front.  Walking away from
          any sort of traumatic experience, including being in
          a cult, and pretending that it didn't happen will leave
          your wounds festering and weeping forever...healing
          is work and we have to work at it and if we don't, no
         matter how many years pass, it will be as if the trauma                       happened yesterday."

I highly recommend this book without hesitation to anyone who has been caught in a cult, large or small, as well as to students of psychology and those who have a personal stake (such as family members belonging to a malignant group) in the subject matter.