Jetting with the Swifter

The other day, I went to visit a friend who recently acquired a brain injury and like me is not eligible for any services because we have the misfortune not to qualify for medicaid or consequently for the brain injury medicaid waiver program or house-cleaning help. Anyone who has ever struggled with damage to their frontal lobe knows that organization, multi-tasking, and motivation all are various shades of difficult to impossible. It is no surprise really that the ability to do housework in any meaningful way resides within executive functions.

Friend is overwhelmed by housework and so I volunteered to mop a bit. She handed me a purple plastic thing called a Swifter Wet Jet (tm). This contraption is a step up in complexity from the Swifter mop (tm) which is a green plastic thing that I have used for several years now and loved. The Swifter mop (tm) is admittedly not designed for rugged cleaning. This Swifter Wet Jet (tm) thingy is.

The overall purpleness pleases me as a purplephiliac. And the stick itself was study. The place where one attaches a sticky pad is wider than the plain green mop. There is also a strip attached to the side which I found to be rather useless. I prefer the strips to be part of the sticky pad myself. At any rate, with button pushing the Swifter Wet Jet (tm) emits a stream of special Swifter Wet Jet (tm) liquid dirt-busting cleaner. I was quickly done with friend's floors. And there was none of the "omgz I have to drag this heavy pail of sudsy water around" feeling. So I went out and bought one.

I got my shiny purple package home. After a difficult assembly, I discovered to my horror that (1). the Swifter Wet Jet (tm) requires four AA batteries and (2). according to the owner's manual one is not supposed to use it on unfinished hardwood floors. From the owner's manual I also gleamed that there is a model that charges; that horrible things will happen if one were to use strips, cleaning solutions, and sticky pads other than those manufactured by Swifter (tm); that there are several versions of the approved cleaning solution; and that one should never attempt to disassemble the purpluscious thing I was holding.

With batteries grudgingly installed and visions of purple plastic pieces scattered about, I set out to conquer my beat-up linoleum floor and my unfinished beat up wood floors. The stream of liquid set off by pushing the white button is adequate and the sticky pad showed evidence that the mop was indeed working to pick up dirt, dustbunnies, and dog hair. Clean-up afterwards involved simply tossing the recyclable sticky pad into the trash. Nothing horrible happened to my unfinished beat-up wood flooring.

On the minus side of things, the pad could be sturdier. It tended to fall apart with the vigor of my application. The mop does not manuever easily in anything other than straight lines. The white strip on the side can only be ordered via the website to the best of my knowledge and it is useless where it has been placed. And of course the demands that one uses only the strips, cleaning solution (and the purple plastic bottles are not supposed to be refilled), and the sticky pads put out by the company put me off. What put me off most was having to install batteries into a mop. Surely there must exist a valve connection thingy that would open to emit fluid without the need for batteries or electric recharging.

sapphoq reviews says: The Swifter Wet Jet (tm) is probably satisfactory to those who are more typical customers. It also has its uses for those of us who are not able to slug around buckets of soapy water. However, it will not replace same. Overall a C+ is awarded.


Swifter Wet Jet (tm) http://www.swiffer.com/swiffer/en_US/wetjet.do

Peter Kahrmann

Peter Kahrmann is an ex-cabbie from New York City with a traumatic brain injury. He was shot in the head and part of the bullet is still lodged in his brain. I have heard Peter speak several times at Best Practices and in a few other places. Most recently, a friend and I went to the Albany Public Library on Saturday to Peter's weekly and free workshop/support group.

Peter was running late. Friend and I went to a room up on the third floor. We were the first ones there. Shortly after, we were joined by another survivor and his helper. The helper went off to get someone to unlock the door. More folks drifted in-- survivors, professionals, helpers, and family members. Small talk and introductions were slow.

When Peter came into the room, the atmosphere instantly changed. People became animated and eager to talk. People hugged. Peter recited a creed which reminded us that we were in a place where all of us are equal (including the helpers and professionals) and free from judgment. We all went around and introduced ourselves.

Peter talked some about various areas of the brain and their functioning. I have read and heard similar material. The difference is that Peter furnished his information with easy-to-remember examples culled from the group itself. It was there that I learned that the reason why my "ability to multi-task has shit the bed and ain't coming back" (as the neuropsych from Sunnyview so eloquently expressed it a few years ago) is because of frontal lobe damage.

If any of you ever have a chance to venture into Albany New York on a Saturday, do go to the Public Library on Washington Avenue at 1 p.m. ish and mosey up to the third floor conference room. Do go visit his blogspot blog over at http://www.thekahrmannblog.blogspot.com.

spike

Dear Asswipe 7/5/08

A big fuck you going out to V.E.S.I.D. for operational failure.
Taking the side of the stoopid job developer in demanding I get a "return to work" note for a vertigo attack-- bovine fecal matter.
Furthermore, as far as "return to work," what work?
Screw off.
If you aren't going to help me, then get the fuck out of my way.

No love,
the traumatic brain-injury malcontent on your overflowing caseload.

The Roomba (tm) two years later

Yeah a couple of years ago I got a Roomba randomly automated vacuum cleaner and I fell in love. The little whirly brush (shabbily made) snapped off about a year ago. I left the thin plastic arms in place and found that dog hair will twirl around them and twist into little balls. I could replace the whirly brush but so far have not felt any inclination too.

The rest of the Roomba is still working fine. It excels on sweeping floors as well as carpets. In fact, the Roomba can negotiate floor surface changes from linoleum to wood to carpet or throw rug without difficulty. The only catch is any rug with fringes-- better off picking those up. The Roomba doesn't do fringe.

A visit to the iRobot store on-line at http://store.irobot.com/home/index.jsp reveals that now in addition to a two-Roomba-vac sale, there is also now a pool cleaning model as well as the floor-washing and shop-sweeping robots. I can also upgrade my old vac model for a new and improved for 200 bisexual bucks. (The newest vac model goes for approximately 300 dollars). Thanks but no thanks. I shall keep my old Roomba until it dies.

sapphoq reviews

Wafergate LOLCatified by the illustrious Owlmirror

Below is an excellent rendition of Wafergate which has been LOLCatified by the Illustrious Owlmirror.
(sapphoq reviews says: full of win!)

The following was copied and pasted from Owlmirror's comment over at P.Z. Meyer's science blog:

Being aware of All Internet Traditions™, I think we all know that no Internet Phenomenon is complete until it has been properly LOLCATIFIED.

Thus, we present for ur lolz:

WAFERGATE

OR

CEILING CATLOLIC IS WATCHING YOU MASTICATE

Act I, Scene I
University of Central Florida, Catholic Chapel

PRIEST: JEBUS HAS A FLAVR!

PARISHIONER 1: I CAN HAS JEBUS CRACKER?
PRIEST: YES, YOU CAN HAS JEBUS CRACKER.
PARISHIONER 1: NOM NOM NOM

PARISHIONER 2: I CAN HAS JEBUS CRACKER?
PRIEST: YES, YOU CAN HAS JEBUS CRACKER.
PARISHIONER 2: NOM NOM NOM

PARISHIONER 3: I CAN HAS JEBUS CRACKER?
PRIEST: YES, YOU CAN HAS JEBUS CRACKER.
PARISHIONER 3: NOM NOM NOM

WEBSTER COOK: I CAN HAS JEBUS CRACKER?
PRIEST: YES, YOU CAN HAS JEBUS CRACKER.
WEBSTER COOK: YAY, JEBUS CRACKER SOOVENEER!
PRIEST: WAIT, WHUT?
WEBSTER COOK: KTHXBYE

PARISHIONERS: NO! YOU NO CAN HAS JEBUS CRACKER! NOT YOURS!

WEBSTER COOK: FEETS DON'T FAIL ME NOW

PARISHIONERS: OMGWTFBBQ!!!!!
PARISHIONERS: NOOOOOOO! HE BE STEALIN OUR JEBUS CRACKER!!!

Act II, Scene I
Diocese of Orlando

GONZALEZ: HALP! JEBUS CRACKER IS KIDNAPPED!
SUSAN FANI: STEALIN JEBUS CRACKER IS HAET CRIEM!

Act II, Scene II
Catholic League

DONAHUE: STEALIN JEBUS CRACKER IS TERRIBLE HAET CRIEM!
DONAHUE: EXPUL-SION-ATE! EXPUL-SION-ATE! EXPUL-SION-ATE!

Act III, Scene I
University of Central Florida

EMAIL TO WEBSTER COOK: WE SAD
EMAIL TO WEBSTER COOK: WE WANT JEBUS CRACKER
EMAIL TO WEBSTER COOK: WE MAD
EMAIL TO WEBSTER COOK: WE WANT JEBUS CRACKER
EMAIL TO WEBSTER COOK: WE FIND YOU
EMAIL TO WEBSTER COOK: WE RESCUE JEBUS CRACKER
EMAIL TO WEBSTER COOK: WE BRAEK IN
EMAIL TO WEBSTER COOK: WE RESCUE JEBUS CRACKER
EMAIL TO WEBSTER COOK: WE KEEELL YOU
EMAIL TO WEBSTER COOK: WE RESCUE JEBUS CRACKER
WEBSTER COOK: DO! NOT!! WANT!!!

Act III, Scene II
University of Central Florida

WEBSTER COOK: DO NOT WANT JEBUS CRACKER. TAEK IT.
PARISHIONERS: YAY! WE CAN HAS JEBUS CRACKER!
PARISHIONERS: WE GET COPS TO GAURD JEBUS CRACKERS NOW.
WEBSTER COOK: WTF?

Act IV, Scene I
Pharyngula Headquarters

PZ MYERS: WTFBBQ!!!
PZ MYERS: CATLOLICS GO APESHIT OVER JEBUS CRACKER!
PZ MYERS: IT'S A GODDAMN FRACKIN' CRACKER!
PZ MYERS: TEH STUPID, IT BURNZ!
PZ MYERS: WANT CAN HAS JEBUS CRACKERS!
PZ MYERS: DE-SE-CRATE! DE-SE-CRATE! DE-SE-CRATE!

PHARYNGULA: LOL
PHARYNGULA: SAD CATHOLICS ARE SAD
PHARYNGULA: CONCERN TROLLS ARE CONCERNED
PHARYNGULA: ANGER TROLLS ARE ANGRY
PHARYNGULA: HATE TROLLS ARE HATIN
PHARYNGULA: SOCKPUPPETS ARE SAD+CONCERNED+ANGRY+HATIN
PHARYNGULA: WTF! SOMEONE IS WRONG ON TEH INTERNETS!
PHARYNGULA: THEY SEE US SCOFFIN, THEY HATIN
PHARYNGULA: (Repeat above 1000 tiems)
SCIENCE BLOGS PHARYNGULA DATABASE: AAAAOOOOOGAAAAH! OVERLOAD!
SCIENCE BLOGS PHARYNGULA DATABASE: ERROR 500 SERVER ERROR!
PZ MYERS: WTF! NEW THREAD.

Act IV, Scene II
Catholic League

DONAHUE: DESECRATIN JEBUS CRACKER IS WORSE THAN HAYT CRIEM!
DONAHUE: EXPUL-SION-ATE! EXPUL-SION-ATE! EXPUL-SION-ATE!

Act IV, Scene III
Pharyngula Headquarters

PZ MYERS: WILLAIM DONAHUE IS DEMENTED
PZ MYERS: PHARYNGULA! HALP!
PHARYNGULA: PZ MYERS IS TEH AWE SUM!
PHARYNGULA: SAD CATHOLICS ARE SAD
PHARYNGULA: CONCERN TROLLS ARE CONCERNED
PHARYNGULA: ANGER TROLLS ARE ANGRY
PHARYNGULA: HATE TROLLS ARE HATIN
PHARYNGULA: SOCKPUPPETS ARE SAD+CONCERNED+ANGRY+HATIN
PHARYNGULA: WTF! SOMEONE IS WRONG ON TEH INTERNETS!
PHARYNGULA: THEY SEE US SCOFFIN, THEY HATIN
PHARYNGULA: (Repeat above 1000 tiems)
SCIENCE BLOGS PHARYNGULA DATABASE: AAAAOOOOOGAAAAH! OVERLOAD!
SCIENCE BLOGS PHARYNGULA DATABASE: ERROR 500 SERVER ERROR!
PZ MYERS: WTF! NEW THREAD.

Act IV, Scene IV
Pharyngula Headquarters

PHARYNGULA: SECOND THIRD FOURTH FIFTH VERSE, SAME AS TEH FIRST
PZ MYERS: HEY! SOCKPUPPETS! GET OFF OF MY LAWN!
PHARYNGULA: (REPEAT SUM MOAR)

TEH END.......?

Posted by: Owlmirror | July 12, 2008 4:37 PM

http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2008/07/fyi.php#comment-980385